This morning I’ve looked back at my views. Last month, June was my best yet, even at a small 215 views, and yet it’s mid way through July and here I am, finally writing a post. It’s been far too long since I’ve actually written a post, and honestly I’ve had my reasons. I’m taking my mental health more seriously than I ever have before, along with my physical health. To really spell that out to you all, I suffer from depression, severe anxiety and being underweight, which has also started adding to my anxiety.
I’ve been on the hunt for a job outside of retail, and so I’ve been looking for ‘business’ and ‘corporate’ clothes for potential interviews. Jesus heck I didn’t realise how incredibly difficult that would be, but it had me seriously having the worst thoughts and emotions about who I am physically, mentally and am I doing the right thing at uni? I’ve always been a creative person, why am I studying business? Should I just give up and follow my real internal dreams of becoming a full time freelance blogger, an interior decorator, a photographer? I have a year left of uni, and whilst I had always heard of people questioning their degree choice at this point of time, I never thought I’d be doing so too.
Yet, here I am. Currently unemployed, on the hunt for a business job, and SUPER unsure and insecure about what I want my future to hold.
Whilst this blog post my sound like it’s full of a lot of stress, anxiety, uncertainty and goodness knows what other things, I’m actually slowly regaining myself. I’m creating small plans to help, such as a weight gain plan, doing some yoga, a small workout plan too, doing some more blog posts again (I really missed it actually, just had NO MOTIVATION, which sucked), doing more creative things such as a bullet journal for 2019 and just heaps of craft.
As for now? I’m really enjoying my studies for this uni semester and I’m definitely going to see how I go with blogging at zero costs. Maybe more health related blog posts? We’ll see 🙂