Heya readers! This post is an important one, something that definitely shouldn’t be a taboo, and hopefully one day will be a topic that is spoken about without awkwardness or fear; mental health.
This is a topic I hold near and dear to me, due to my own family, friends and loved ones having different mental health issues, and also myself.
So hey, I know my first 2 words of this post are probably a little too upbeat for a thing like this, but I always try to talk about mental health in as positive way as I possibly can.
I’ve spent god knows how long of my adult life being moderately depressed and an all round anxious person. My anxiety really only came to the surface in high school, especially during year 10 when the school I attended was forcing us to choose our careers. I was 15 years old, how the hell was I meant to know what I wanted to do with the next 60 years of my life??
My depression was very low key for a majority of high school and shortly after, which I mostly mistook for just part of being a teenager. Around Christmas of 2017 I just couldn’t get myself into the spirit, which is a difficult thing to do when your family LOVES Christmas. At first I put it down to working in retail, which of course wasn’t true, because I was fine for the last 4 years of Christmas and retail work.
I thought about dying in a really overly casual ways – driving to and from work – completing mundane tasks at work – sitting in classes at uni. It became really weirdly natural for me to ponder about death and took me a long time to realise that hey, that’s not exactly something a 19 year old female should be thinking about on the reg.
Thankfully I have a fantastic threshold of family and friends who could give me a hand with getting back to being a happy and somewhat normal now 20 year old, and I saw a doctor about my thoughts. I’m not currently on medication for either of my mental health issues, as I’d much rather fight through it and only medicate when I’ve lost the energy.
This is only a simplified version of events that happened, it doesn’t take into account the many long-lasting panic attacks that had me feeling like I was drowning in my own bed at ridiculous times during the night.
There’s so many options for help these days, you should never feel helpless or alone.